Think back to a day or a specific time you were minding your own business, enjoying a sunny afternoon, feeling good and loving life. Now let me guess…this particular day was going SO well, you decided to run some errands. Hell, why not? Life is great!
Now, if you can’t recall a time you have spent a sunny summer day running around getting things accomplished, let me try and set the scene for you.
You’re driving the speed limit (plus 10), blasting your music, and drinking your favorite beverage from your local coffee shop. Or maybe it’s a water bottle, or… raspberry iced tea perhaps? Windows are down, sun is shinin’ and the wind is blowin’ through your hair. You’ve got money in your wallet and you are totally ready to ride out the adventures of the day!
You arrive at your destination, park the car and head toward a set of doors.
You walk in, look around at your surroundings subconsciously and notice the soccer mom with her 3 little ones to the right. You can’t help but over hear “But mom can I please have a Snickers bar!!!!!” “No, Theo, put it back.” *Smacks little brother in the head*.
You look to your left and see an innocent, much older lady, who walks in front of you and says “excuse me, dear” in the most elegant, and charming voice and you just can’t help but smile and say “No worries.”
You keep going about your business, with a clear and cut goal in mind: Get the fuck out of here as soon as possible! But also thinking…hey, life is great.
Fifteen minutes have passed, and so far you have managed to collect your favorite brand and flavor of ice cream, some ingredients to roast s’mores, and of course…the one outcast of an item: mouthwash in your shopping cart. Suddenly, and subconsciously, you glance over at a couple across the aisle. A seemingly young, happy, united couple. Two love birds: holding hands, laughing, smiling. The whole sha-bang. Then all of a sudden you find yourself in a temporary halt of the feel-good vibes. Do you remember what you were thinking about?
I know I do. Each and every time I am reminded of my singleness I think:
“Will I ever experience that (again)?”
“Will I ever find someone who genuinely cares about how my day went?”
“Am I the odd-ball, the loser, for not being in a relationship at 23 years old?”
“Oh my god! Am I unlovable?”
And then that little (much manlier) voice inside your head says…No, you are not an odd ball for being single *slaps wrist*, stop that talk!
But how do you convince yourself this?
See, most of us know we are not odd-balls, losers, or unlovable just because we are not in a committed relationship. We just have a hard time convincing to ourselves or to others the fact of the matter.
Let me try and convince to you that you are NOT an odd-ball, you are NOT a loser, and you are NOT unlovable. There are other things you could be doing in your life and it’s OK to be single in your 20’s.
Here are my best 14 original reasons it is OK being single in your 20’s.
Note: the reasons listed below are not intended to bash anyone who is in a relationship. This is simply to encourage and inspire those who are single to look at the bright side of their situation.
1). The most obvious—You are free to do what you want!
You have absolutely nothing holding you back. You can wear what you want. You can see who you want. You can be who you want. Use this (temporary) time to live the life you want.
2). Still figuring yourself out
If you are reading this, you are probably in your 20’s. Do you realize how young we are? We need to use this time– the second decade we are so lucky to have– to fuck shit up, face the consequences and learn from our mistakes. Its O K. You (we) will figure everything out, eventually.
3). Concentrate on your hobbies
Use your independence to your advantage! What is it that you like to do? Do more of it! Think about doing something you have never done before and try it! Parachuting? Drawing? Photography? Gardening? Think of something you have always wanted to try/do. Heck, you might think the idea of rock climbing is boring, but if you haven’t done it, try it and find out! Life is too short to avoid new experiences.
4). Focus on your career/education
Did you just spend $250 on that textbook and didn’t read a single page? Yeah, I’ve done that too. But why not read a page, or two, or maybe even a chapter. This will only boost your intelligence. Distractions are limited when you’re single. So focus on strengthening your knowledge, because this will result in better grades, and a successful career.
5) Save money
It’s true ladies and gentlemen—we see more money in our bank accounts when we are single. Consider putting some money into a savings account, and find something worth saving for such as a cruise, or a beach house. Maybe a new car? The possibilities are endless!
6). Life is long
Everyone says life is so short. And it’s because it’s true, life is short. But have you thought about how many years are actually ahead of you? In ten years I will be 33. Thirty three is still fucking young! My dad is nearly 70 years old, living on the Gulf of Mexico with the love of his life—who he fell in love with at age 64! Life is long, folks. Don’t worry about a relationship; we still have plenty of time to establish love.
7). Life is short
Did you see this coming? Think about this: life is too short to be worried about your marital status. Get out of your comfort zone while you are still young and experience life in your 20’s while you can.
Think of a place you want to visit. Look it up on the internet, and start planning. What’s stopping you? How much money it may cost? Economics 101: trade-offs. Trade-off one thing you are spending way too much money on, in exchange for one week in paradise. Plus, you will gain a new experience that you can talk about with your future lover…and maybe even some experiences you can’t talk about, if ya know what I’m sayin’.
9). Relationships do not equal happiness
People often define the level of their happiness solely based on their relationship status. While happiness is essential for a successful companionship, you must be content with yourself first. Ironically, once you start a relationship with someone, worrying about your happiness is no longer your priority. The reason why is because you should be focusing on your partner’s happiness and he/she should be focused on yours. It takes work to maintain a healthy relationship, so use the time while you are single to build your own happiness, so that you can focus only on your partners in the future.
10.) People envy your relationship status
Believe it or not, married couples who are unhappy in their relationship wish they could be just like you! They wish they could go back in time, and figure it all out. Just like you should be doing right now, in your 20’s and single.
Hmm, have any ideas? You’re single! Have some fun! Remember, everything you do in your single life you most likely won’t be doing when you’re in a relationship or married.
12). Still figuring other people out
It’s O K being single in your 20’s because at this point in your life, whether you realize it or not, you are still figuring not only yourself out, but other people, too. Don’t be impulsive when a new love interest strikes. Take your time, and figure the other person out, first.
13). Setting boundaries
The fun part about being single is that you get to choose your mate! Yes, you have options and when the time comes, you will use what you have learned in previous relationships and through the single stage, to set boundaries and raise your standards. After a break-up, we typically analyze the relationship by picking out exactly what bothered us, and what we are going to miss. Well, do not forget what bothered you. For those who have yet to experience a relationship, acknowledge what you do not find acceptable while you are single and always be on the lookout for red flags.
14) You are the only one that cares
I know how you feel. You feel like you’re falling behind on the love train because all of your friends are in relationships and you’re stuck wondering when it’s going to be your turn. It’s O K because honestly, you are the only one who cares that you’re single. Do you really think the couples in Walmart walk by you and think “Pfft. Look at that Odd-ball. All lonely and what not.” ….No. So stop worrying about when it’s your time. It will come! Just focus on you, and build yourself a better you.
Orig post date: Jun 14, 2017 11:19 AM