After walking into the apartment building, I head up the stairs to the third floor. My dog is with me. I just got done taking him for a walk.
There are a couple paths I can take once I get up to the 3rd floor.
The moment after I caught a glimpse of you and quickly moved to another path was the exact moment I confirmed Anxiety Wins.
You were someone I don’t even know. Never spoke more than a sentence or two to. You were just a familiar face. A face my body didn’t want to pass. A human figure my body didn’t want to interact with.
It’s not you, it’s me. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. I don’t not like you. I don’t even know you!
Strange, I’ve yet to be diagnosed with this unpleasant and awkward condition.
It’s one of those things you just know. I don’t need a doctor to tell me I have anxiety.
I can’t believe I couldn’t face you. It’s like I was ashamed of being me, or I was afraid you could see right through me. All of my flaws.
Why do I care? I always tell myself I don’t.
Palms sweaty, heart pacing, mind is racing. All the damn time.
It’s uncontrollable. I thought I could defeat this. Or, maybe even ignore it.